Muse Food. Food of the Gods. Ambrosia. Call it what you will, it is that food – the one you’d walk two miles through the densest jungle, braving leopards and snakes and all manner of hostile natives to get, that is the best food to use to bait your Muse Trap.

Join me now as we emabark on a journey to track down and lure the wild Muse. Consider, if you will, the following scenario…

Imagine. You’re in camp, on the trail of the wild Muse. The sun is sinking down towards the horizon and the jackals are starting to yip, far too close to camp for comfort. You’re surfeit after an enormous meal your porters have prepared for you, and yet, you’re still craving something. Suddenly a native rushes into camp and begins babbling at your porters in their native tongue. You stride over and demand from your chief porter and translator, N’gawa, that he tell you what’s going on. He gives you that hundred yard stare, the one that always unnerves you, but his tone nevertheless remains respectful as he replies, “It is nothing really. A bit of useless news. One of the locals says that there is a huge supply of Cheetos sitting in the middle of a trail about two miles to the west.” He points into the dense jungle.

Cheetos, you think, what I wouldn’t give for Cheetos. Hurriedly, you lace up your walking boots and grab your machete.

Your porter stares at you. “Where are you going, Bwana?”

“To fetch the Cheetos, of course.”

“But Bwana, the trail is difficult, nearly impassible, and it’s growing dark. There will be many dangers. And it is, after all, just Cheetos.”

“Maybe ‘just’ to you, my good man, but to me, they are the food of the gods, and I must have them. They will be the perfect bait.” At least, you think, those left over after you’ve feasted yourself…

“But what of the snakes? The leopards? The army ants?”

“They’ll just have to get out of my way,” you declare. You take a few strides in the direction N’gawa had pointed. “Coming?”

N’gawa shakes his head, in the manner of all natives confronted by mad adventurers, but hurries to your side, then leads the way into the forbidding jungle…* * *

In order to lure the wild Muse into your life – the first time, or anytime it has gone wandering – one of the best ways to do it is to create a feast. And the perfect food for that feast is whatever food you’d do almost anything for. So think long and hard, and pick just one.

Copyright 2011 by Nan Sampson All rights reserved.