It has been one of those weeks.  Lots of pressure at the EDJ (Evil Day Job), my daughter brought home what my pop would have called the galloping crud (horrific cold), and passed it first to her father and then to me.  AND I’m working on a revision of a novel when I’d rather be writing the SHINY new idea I have.

But wait.  It gets better.  Husband is working this afternoon, so child, who is still sick and STILL stumping around on her broken foot, has no way to get home from school other than to walk.  Now, it’s not terribly far – a little over a mile – but she IS sick and her foot still isn’t completely healed.  But I work 35 miles from home and there was no way I could take off early to pick her up.  I felt guilty, she looked miserable when I dropped her off this morning, but there it was.  We were both going to have to deal with it.

Then, at 2:35 (about the time said child would have started walking home), as I’m sitting in my office, I notice this sound overhead.  A sound like demons from a variety of hells are trampling across the roof of my building along with their pet wildebeests.   I stand up, go towards the windows at the front and see that the skies have opened up and rain is falling like a recreation of the biblical flood.  All I can think is that my poor baby is walking home, sick, feverish, with a broken foot… IN THE POURING RAIN!

Clearly I am The Worst Mom Ever.

But I’m caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.  I could not have left work early, nor could I have kept her home from school just because she might have to hoof it.  So for a full hour (until she called to tell me she was home), I sat and stewed about it, lost productivity, and felt huge amounts of working mother guilt.

Kind of like when I finally find an hour free of other people’s obligations and I realize I can sit down to write.  Suddenly, I’m wracked with guilt about not taking the laundry out of the dryer or addressing those Christmas cards (from last year) or weeding the garden or walking his Admiralship.  So I sit in front of my lap top and dither.  And fret.  And wring my hands.  Well, okay, I probably don’t actually wring my hands, but you get the point.  So my hour of writing time dwindles to nothing and not only do I not get much writing done, I don’t get any of those other tasks done either.

The thing I need to learn is that feeling guilty never gets anything done.  You make the best choices you can, and then you just need to commit to whatever it is you’re doing at that moment.  Instead of wringing my hypothetical hands, I could have been doing something that would have made a difference.  Today, that would have been earning my paycheck.  Other times, I could have finished a chapter.  As it was, I got nothing accomplished besides aggravating my ulcer!

As it turned out, the child is smarter than I give her credit for.  She found a friend whose mom offered to drive her home.  She was tucked up in the house before the rain even started.  So I worried and felt guilty for no reason at all.

I’m a mom – so I suppose I’ll always worry.  But next time, I’ll leave the guilt monster out in the rain.

Illegitimi non carborundum!

The Geek in her natural habitat: participating in HallCon at GeekKon

Sorry for being away for so long.  Between an illness, getting the girl-child ready for 8th grade, the girl-child breaking her foot, and preparing for GeekKon, it’s been a heck of an August.  But what a way to end the summer (GeekKon, that is, not the foot-breaking thing).  The picture is of me, a stranger we met, and my dear friend and fellow author Susan Wachowski, participating in HallCon.  This was on Sunday in the afternoon, and if we look all wrung out, it’s because we are.  The picture was taken just as we found a spot on the floor while waiting for a panel to start, giving our poor aching dogs (and I’m not talking about Nelson) a welcome rest.

And in case you’re not familiar with cons, HallCon is basically just what it sounds like… where you find a spot on the floor along the wall while waiting for panels to start because you’re too damn tired to stand.  You meet the most amazing people that way.  I’ve had conversations with authors, actors, and wonderful, friendly and interesting strangers doing just that.  Then there’s LobbyCon, which is the same only different. 🙂

So I spent three fabulous days totally geeked-up in lovely Madison, WI, surrounded by my Nerd Herd – hundreds (thousands?) of people who are exactly like me, who grok what I grok, who speak every dialect of nerdy fandom.  It was glorious.  Sue and I attended a slew of panels on writing (props to the highly talented author Alex Bledsoe), some costuming panels, wandered the vendor hall and artist alley, belly laughed through the hysterical panel called “Who’s Line Is It Anime?”, and basically reveled in being part of a rarified atmosphere that was steeped in geekiness of every flavor:  Steampunk, Anime, SF, Doctor Who, fantasy, Star Trek, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings… on and on.  Sheldon, Leonard, Raj and Howard should have been there, they’d  have grokked it too!

My Fellow Nerds: Howard, Raj, Leonard and Sheldon

But now I’m back.  Back at home.  Back at work.  Back to being a *gasp* norm.  It feels stifling.  Kind of like wearing a Victorian-era boiled collar.  I feel oddly disingenuous, as though I’m pretending to be someone I’m not and waiting for the other norms to find out and stone me.  Well, okay, they probably wouldn’t stone me, but they might discontinue my gainful employment.  Then again… one  never knows with norms.

I have this almost unconquerable desire to wear my favorite G-shirt (Geek T-shirt) to work.  You know, the one that says:  Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle role-playing games.  I want to talk incessantly about the new Doctor Who (the awesome Peter Capaldi) and these totally cool steampunk goggles I’m saving up for and how amazing urban fantasy author Melissa F. Olson was to meet in person (you’ve GOT to read Dead Spots, like, today)!  But if I did, most of the people I work with (with a few exceptions, and you know who you are!) would cock their heads like confused puppies and stare at me funny.

Say what? (Image Courtesy of C-Monster at Flkr Creative Commons)

It’s such a bummer being all geeked-up, back here in the world of norms.  So I’m planning my next trip into Con-Land.  WindyCon is in November.  That’s even local enough that I don’t have to book a hotel – although I might anyway.  Being there, in the middle of it all, being part of my “tribe”, is so rejuvenating that I want to soak up every minute of it.

So who is your tribe?  I’d love to hear about it!  Do you get to spend quality time with them?  If not, I highly suggest you find a way to do so!  That feeling of connectedness, of being completely understood and accepted, is worth more than gold.

Until next time,

Illegitimi non carborundum!

What routines are trapping you from living your life more authentically? I challenge you to read this, then go out and break free!

Never been interviewed before in my life, but there is a first time for everything and yesterday I did an interview with fellow writer and my fountain pen addiction supplier, Nathaniel Cerf, for his blog on The Pen Market . Check it out, if you’re so inclined. It was a blast to do although I didn’t much like having my picture taken! I always blink, so in order to keep my eyes open, I end up with a goofy expression!

And if you love fountain pens, definitely check out his site. He offers some really sweet vintage pieces, many that are even affordable for us working writers!

I’m off now to the grocery store. I should probably wear my Wayfarers and a hat so I don’t get mobbed by the paparazzi! 🙂

Me, incognito?

Illegitimi non carborundum!

My first book is now live on Amazon and will soon be available on Nook.
You can see it here: http://www.amazon.com/Restless-Natives-Gooden-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00LOUPR4Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1405091962&sr=8-1&keywords=nan+sampson

To celebrate, here is a Flashback Friday moment. I am doing this in my office right now. 🙂

Not matter what dream you’re chasing, here’s some inspiration from a fellow author, Cristian Mihai.